Chef Boyardee

I love to cook. And if I say so myself, I'm not all that bad at it either. I have recipes that I have perfected over the years, and I am also quite good at following a recipe to make new things. Then I usually perfect those as well. My family is full of amazing cooks, all great at making different things. Therefore, I have pretty big shoes to fill.

Last Sunday, while the family was gathered at my grandparent's house for lunch (a weekly occurrence), I asked the question "What should I make for dinner this week?" While trying to make my mental grocery list, I was drawing a complete blank on what I wanted to cook. My sister suggested this very yummy dish she makes called Salsa Chicken. It's cheap and easy, and let me also emphasize the yummy, so I figured I could easily make this.

I left the gp's and went to the store. I was very excited about making this Salsa Chicken and decided tonight was the night. Last night, I prepared the chicken so I could just throw it in the crock pot this morning on my way out the door. I followed my sister's instructions to the letter, except I did add some cilantro to the chicken last night. I walked to the door after work, anxiously awaiting this delicious dinner in store for me, only to find the chicken just didn't quite smell as yummy as I expected. I quickly checked the crock pot to find burnt chicken mixed with what I can only describe as something that was at one time salsa. And I still thought, maybe it tastes better than it looks. So I began making the rice and cheese dip with the intention of making a little extra cheese dip to mask the burn flavor.

The only way I can think to describe the hot mess that I made instead of cheese dip is DISASTER! And I guess "hot mess" works too. So anyway, the main ingredient in our dinner tonight was instant rice. Yippee!

After consuming this incredibly disappointing dinner, I was feeling quite badly about my cooking abilities. Sad, yes. So I decided to make myself feel better by making some homemade salsa. Salsa, I can make, and I make it well. I carefully chop all the ingredients, everything fresh from the garden except one onion and the garlic. How could I possibly go wrong with this plan? As you probably guessed by now, yet again somehow I managed it! After everything was mixed in, I tasted it only to find it is so spicy I could hardly breathe. I love salsa, but I don't do crazy spicy. Then I felt this strange burning sensation on my face. What could this be? Could it be that I rubbed my face with some of the jalapeno on my hand?? I must have because my face is still burning, even after wiping it with a wet rag, washing it, slathering it with moisturizer, and waiting about 30 minutes. Even my fingers hurt and I have washed my hands three times.

Now to top it all off, I just bit my nail and the burning sensation is back in my mouth. Note to self, stay the heck out of the kitchen!

Saving Grace - The tv show, not the actual saving grace

I just finished watching the Saving Grace season finale on TNT. I would like to preface this blog with this thought; I find the premise of this show absolutely ridiculous and let me explain. If you are unfamiliar, Grace, played by Holly Hunter, is a police officer in Oklahoma City. She was raised in a strict catholic household and questions her faith in God. In fact, she's pretty blunt and open with her lack of faith. This is most likely why I relate.

Anyway, even though she doubts the Lord, she has been given this "last chance angel" named Earl. Earl is not what you picture when you think of an angel. He has long hair, a testy attitude, and wears jeans and t-shirts. He has tried for two seasons now to help Grace come back to God. He gives her opportunties to save other people. Last season, it was a death row inmate and this season, a meth addicted stripper. Stange, I know. I wonder what drugs the writers are on but I digress.

This season just ended with Neely, the meth addicted stripper, trying to make God prove His love for her by saving her as she jumps off a twelve story building. While I can understand the need to have evidentiary proof of God's existence and His love, I think this seems a little silly. Neely says "If God loves me, He will save me after I jump from this building". Grace runs to catch her and they both fall the ground. All Grace's friends rush over to find her and Neely have landed safely and indeed survived the fall. This is when Neely annouces that they both have an angel. And...scene.

Now I will get to my point. I understand how difficult it can be to have faith in someone or something that you cannot see, or hear, or touch, or talk to and receive a typical answer from. I walked away from God when I felt He wasn't there for me. Years later, seeing the error of my ways, I realize that He was with me even when I didn't want Him to be. I take great comfort in knowing that God loves me. That He made me the way I am and that He does not give me more than I can handle. And He walks with me daily to help me through my struggles.

Much like Grace on the tv show, if God can love and stay with me when I doubted Him, I am overwhelmed by how much love He must have for all of us. I was told once that a mother's love is the closest thing to God's love. Knowing how much I love Savannah, and knowing that my love for her is still no comparison, I am amazed and grateful.