Chef Boyardee

I love to cook. And if I say so myself, I'm not all that bad at it either. I have recipes that I have perfected over the years, and I am also quite good at following a recipe to make new things. Then I usually perfect those as well. My family is full of amazing cooks, all great at making different things. Therefore, I have pretty big shoes to fill.

Last Sunday, while the family was gathered at my grandparent's house for lunch (a weekly occurrence), I asked the question "What should I make for dinner this week?" While trying to make my mental grocery list, I was drawing a complete blank on what I wanted to cook. My sister suggested this very yummy dish she makes called Salsa Chicken. It's cheap and easy, and let me also emphasize the yummy, so I figured I could easily make this.

I left the gp's and went to the store. I was very excited about making this Salsa Chicken and decided tonight was the night. Last night, I prepared the chicken so I could just throw it in the crock pot this morning on my way out the door. I followed my sister's instructions to the letter, except I did add some cilantro to the chicken last night. I walked to the door after work, anxiously awaiting this delicious dinner in store for me, only to find the chicken just didn't quite smell as yummy as I expected. I quickly checked the crock pot to find burnt chicken mixed with what I can only describe as something that was at one time salsa. And I still thought, maybe it tastes better than it looks. So I began making the rice and cheese dip with the intention of making a little extra cheese dip to mask the burn flavor.

The only way I can think to describe the hot mess that I made instead of cheese dip is DISASTER! And I guess "hot mess" works too. So anyway, the main ingredient in our dinner tonight was instant rice. Yippee!

After consuming this incredibly disappointing dinner, I was feeling quite badly about my cooking abilities. Sad, yes. So I decided to make myself feel better by making some homemade salsa. Salsa, I can make, and I make it well. I carefully chop all the ingredients, everything fresh from the garden except one onion and the garlic. How could I possibly go wrong with this plan? As you probably guessed by now, yet again somehow I managed it! After everything was mixed in, I tasted it only to find it is so spicy I could hardly breathe. I love salsa, but I don't do crazy spicy. Then I felt this strange burning sensation on my face. What could this be? Could it be that I rubbed my face with some of the jalapeno on my hand?? I must have because my face is still burning, even after wiping it with a wet rag, washing it, slathering it with moisturizer, and waiting about 30 minutes. Even my fingers hurt and I have washed my hands three times.

Now to top it all off, I just bit my nail and the burning sensation is back in my mouth. Note to self, stay the heck out of the kitchen!