Savannah's birthday is coming up in a couple weeks. She will be 7 years old. This brings up a flood of emotions. The first of which is absolute disbelief that I could possibly be the mother of a 7 year old. When did that happen? It seems like a month ago, I walked up to Crystal at the Clinique counter in shock to share the news that I was pregnant. Never expecting to have children, this discovery was especially astonishing. Once I moved past the initial shock, this was a welcome, and yet very scary, surprise.
For the next nine months, I worked at Dillard's on my feet, in pain most days, wondering how in the world I was going to be a parent. I doubted my maternal instincts, because I had none. The women I worked with said, "once your baby is born, you will know exactly what to do". I questioned this because as I mentioned previously, I had NO maternal instincts. These women were right though. The second Savannah was born, I knew I was her mother and I was responsible for her.
As scary as this new journey was, I welcomed her with open arms. I still questioned myself, but I think for the most part I did a decent job. I know I made mistakes and I was definitely not your typical care-giving mom, but God gave me the daughter I was supposed to have.
I have said it before and I will say it again, Savannah was sent to me to save my life. I was going down a road I should not have been on, that I probably would not have come back from on my own. I am grateful that despite my fears, I am Savannah's mother. She is an amazing child, which I am reminded of daily.
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